"Madness"

Ten degrees and getting colder

Try this fun game!

How to play:

1. Put your iTunes/iPod/MP3 player on shuffle.

2. Press the forward button to get the answer to each consecutive question.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY.

4. Tag five or more friends to play.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?", YOU SAY?

Hollywood swinging (you know it, baby)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

low red moon

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

you make me feel like a natural woman

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

that wonderful someone

WHAT IS YOU LIFE'S PURPOSE?

a taste of honey (sweet)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

dig it

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

bandera

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

mother nature's son (but i'm a girl)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

good old fashion lover boy

WHAT IS 2+2?

planet telex 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

one for all time

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

crazy love (is there any other kind?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

until it's time for you to go

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

roi (forget queen, i'll be king)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

$1000 wedding (i'm a cheep date)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

angel

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

honky tonk merry go round (apropos)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

wild honey pie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

johnny too bad (as are most of my friends)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

mexico city (i could definitely think of worse)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

it ain't you (i bet you're relieved)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

perfidia (faithless, treacherous or false; betrayal in love--i definitely regret this)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

folsom prison blues (if i didn't laugh, i'd cry)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

the james bond theme (it gets me every time)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

why, why?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

sad lisa

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

dirty work

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

be like a duck

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

glass onion

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

ten degrees and getting colder (it is still winter you know)

tag you're it: rebecca , chieko, ri, paula, connie

March 5/Mystery List

A list left in my office by a patient:

Curves---------------- 40.00

Fines----------------- 10.00

Nose ring------------- Frost
--------------------------- Vitas
Gas ------------- Pawn

Cigs------------- 2 Burner

Phone-------------- pawn

Sugar

Coffee

Food
(I can't seem to make columns in this post)
I’ve held onto this list for years because of its mystery. I have no idea to whom it belonged as I have dozens of people in and out of my office all day long. Curves is an exercise facility for women, the $10 fine probably represents a parking ticket (having received enough of them to know); I love that nose ring tops the list of essentials which include cigarettes, gas, sugar, coffee, etc. Then there are the mysterious items in the right hand column. Any ideas?

NaBloPoMo

I signed up on the above mentioned web site to challenge myself to post more often. And because I think Eden Kennedy is one of the smartest bloggers around. I didn't get clued in to NaBloPoMo until March 2, and I'd already posted on the 1st and the 2nd (although I probably would not have shared my tale of low libido woe as it doesn't fit in with the "list" theme), so I figured I had a good start and might be able to keep it up for 29 more days.
This week is "I love to read" week at my son's elementary school. Each morning a parent reads for each of the classes (K-5), and this morning I read Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco to Erlan's class. In honor of East Side School's "I love to read" week I'll list my favorite literary works.

1. The Life Before Us by Romain Gary (Emile Ajar)
2. Ada or Ardor: A Family Chronicle by Vladimir Nabokov
3. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
4. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
5. Sexing The Cherry by Jeanette Winterson
6. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
7. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
8. My Antonia by Willa Cather
9. The Complete Tales & Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
10. One Hundred Years Of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
11. The Ugly Dachshund by G.B. Stern
12. Fox In Socks by Dr. Seuss
13. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
14. The Trumpet Of The Swan by E.B. White
15. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Proust Questionnaire

I'm giving myself the Vanity Fair Proust questionnaire because I'm trying to jump start my blog as I've been absent for a while and the VFPQ is always the first thing I read when I get my VF in the mail (the first thing I read after I rip out all the perfume sample pages). I've always fantasized that someone would find me interesting enough to interview me with the VFPQ and this is my dream come true.

What is your current state of mind?
Thoughtful, I'm answering the PQ.

What is your greatest extravagance?
I love to shop the on-line jcrew sales, and most definitely foot wear is my greatest extravagance.

What is your greatest fear?
I'm not a huge worrier, so I don't have any great fears. Everyday I work with people whose lives have changed on a dime. One day they were strong, vital, employed, fiscally solvent, engaged people and then some injury or illness changed everything. I don't fear that happening, although it would totally suck if it did. I'm just sort of in awe of how capricious life is.
I do fear flat tires on the Swingley Road, especially this time of year.

What is the trait you deplore most in others
Bigotry. Any lack of kindness, courtesy, and/or respect for all beings.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Mindfulness.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would be a successful practitioner of mindfulness.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
An awareness of his social position in our current social structure and a conscious refutation of that position.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Independence and voice.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Oh Shit!

Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to play music. Any instrument would do. I would just love to be able to pick up an instrument and make music come out.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My husband and son and our extended families.

Where would you like to live?
I love where I live now. Many, many years ago when I was in graduate school at the University of Washington working under a fellowship grant for providing early intervention services in rural areas, my mom, unable to conceive of the idea that I might want to live anywhere other than Seattle, asked me where I was thinking of going when I finished school. At that time I dreamed of New Mexico, and I told her that I really wanted land and to live by a river. She looked at me incredulously as we were backing out of her garage at her fancy Laurelhurst condominium, and said "Where the hell did you come from?" So here I am, all these years later, living my dream life.
I've also fantasized about living in New Orleans (My best friend Vicki lives there and even post Katrina, NOLA holds a huge appeal) and the South of France (Grasse would be my first choice).

What is your favorite occupation?
Anything in the human services field. I have always and will always work with and for underserved and marginalized populations.

What is your most treasured possession?
A pearl necklace that belonged to my Gaggie (maternal grandmother) and then my mother, and a pair of matching pearl earrings given to me by my Mother-in-law. Also, all of my family photos, photo albums, Erlan's adoption portfolio, and a quilt that my mother started for Erlan right before she was diagnosed with lung cancer (her friends finished it). The several times we've had to pack up because of forest fires, these are the first things I make sure go to town for safe keeping. It's very difficult to choose one thing as I'm a pretty sentimental gal. Then I start to feel like Steve Martin in The Jerk; I just need this ashtray and this ugly clay pot I made in third grade, and this raincoat I found a Value Village in the 80s, etc).

Who are your favorite writers?
Romain Gary, William Faulkner, Vladimir Nabokov, Margaret Atwood, Jeanette Winterson, Adrienne Rich

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Momo

Who are your heros in real life?
My coworkers. My sister.

What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty, humor, and at this point in my life, low maintenance is the key.

What is your most marked characteristic?
My dowager's hump and boobs that sag to my waist.

How would you like to die?
If I'm meant to live to an old age, I'd hope to be of fair health and die in my sleep. If I have to die young, I wouldn't mind being mauled by a grizzly bear.

What is your motto?
What you focus on you get more of, or fuck 'em and feed 'em fish heads.

Now I'm going to play meme tag with Chiki, Reb, and anybody else who stops by my site.

Is It Really December?

November was a very intense month for me, which pretty much got off to its auspicious start on Halloween in the parking lot of East Side elementary school.

We finally got the cold and snow that is customary for our region. It just came on so suddenly and so late that it was a bit of a shock. The intense and sudden onset of winter weather combined with the late and dramatic change back to standard time really kicked my energy level into the ground. Winter=cold, snow, wind, bad roads, dark on the way to work, and dark coming home. Yikes, that's so negative!
Winter=skiing, cozy indoor crafting, cozy indoor Sudoku (without too much guilt), the smell of woodstove smoke, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite winter things.

John shot a cow elk the day before Thanksgiving. I am hugely thankful for the meat in our freezer and for John having done 99.9% (Erlan and I wrapped a few pounds of burger) of all that shooting an elk entails.
a. Going out day after day and walking miles on foot in the cold. For the past several years John has been granted hunting access on several of the ranches in our area where the elk herds migrate back and forth, pretty much insuring a successful hunt. This fall, however, the elk herd spent more time at higher elevations due to the warmer weather in early November and all of the lovely new grass courtesy of last summer’s fire. So John did quite a bit more hiking this year than in previous years.
b. Shooting the elk. There is this thing I go through with John every year with regard to hunting that is the emotional dance of him coming to terms with all that is involved in the procuring of meat, and me listening and supporting whatever decision he makes (without showing too much irritation, as this is a very dialectical dance). John does not love (or even like) to hunt. For him it is a hugely stressful event and he has to do quite a bit of mental maneuvering to be able to do it. We very much revere the wildlife we share this amazing place with and there is a great deal of psychic compartmentalization that goes on for John with regard to hunting. John hunts with a Sako 75 Finnlight .280 (a commercially dead un-saleable rifle which sat in our local sporting goods shop for about 4 years until John bought it in 2004 and now, supposedly, is a highly sought after caliber with cult status), and uses 150-grain Nosler partitions. Here is a picture of John two years ago; this is a scope injury. He loves looking all scary and psycho like this.

I love wild game, especially elk, especially the tenderloins I roast on Christmas Eve. I have no desire to hunt and pretty much the only thing I know about firearms is always assume they are loaded. Beyond that, I don't know much, and I don't care to. Not only do I have a great man who brings me coffee in bed every morning, I have a great man who fills the freezer.
c. Gutting, getting 400 pounds of meat, hide, and bone home in –10 temperatures, quartering, boning, processing and wrapping.
d. Finding freezer space.

We started family therapy with an attachment/trauma specialist. Erlan is an incredibly well adjusted happy kid given his early childhood circumstances. No kid gets abandoned at birth, spends six years in an orphanage, goes to a strange country with a new language (which means no verbal communication given our lack of familiarity with the Russian and Kazakh languages), and doesn’t have issues. Are we late in the therapy game given that Erlan has been with us for four years, or are we early, given that we don’t have any major problems? Our decision to invest in this process now seems timely and proactive. Erlan is becoming more aware of his learning differences and his frustration, for which he has a low tolerance, has increased with the demands of fourth grade. His use of the English language is proficient and actually sophisticated with regards to humor and irony (content and form still need work). Erlan has always distilled all of his hurt/angry/shameful feelings into “I miss my birth mom” and ultimately we know that this is a reflection of him not feeling worth enough to be cared for and loved. The goal is to help him articulate a birth story, which will allow him to explore all of those feelings of abandonment, worthlessness in a safe and validating environment and then help him create a new story about his life now and the love we have for him and his worthiness in the giving and receiving of love and family.

I got contact lenses, which is something I swore I’d never do again after undergoing Lasix surgery in 2002. I was formerly severely myopic and now suffer from astigmatism. My current prescription needs strengthening; I would need new frames and can’t find any I like, so I’m giving contacts another try and liking them.

The makings of an obsessive compulsive

Everytime I wash my face I think of the many ways sperm is not like Cetaphil. I can't help it; I am compelled, and Mrs. Armstrong is to blame. With regard to texture and consistency, maybe the facial cleanser I have been using for years, is a bit sperm-like. But Cetaphil is odorless and is not sticky, and I repeat this to myself until the last of it is rinsed off and I am free to contemplate the new brand of facial cleanser I will buy in a couple of years when my two huge bulk bottles of sperm, uh Cetaphil, are finally gone.

Me after posting two photo albums

And you can bet I'm off to bed to get my beauty rest now!

Cat Hair and Dead Geraniums

Check this out. This was a secret installation Amonett put together over a period of time. She likes to sit in front of a big picture window over looking the lagoon and comb her cat Sushi. There is a not very well tended geranium plant nearby. I took this picture before she destroyed it as she was afraid one of her sons would shower her with scorn.